bandwagon (band-wag-on): noun
1. Suddenly giving a damn when a team gets good.
2. Liking a sports team only because they're winning
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3. When a person likes a trend, or sports team, just because it is getting more popular
(SOURCE: Urban Dictionary)
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Not that you do not know what a bandwagon is, but that is the topic today, kids, and I want to be sure you are all hopping on this blog’s bandw….yuck…nevermind.
The bandwagon, for today’s purposes, will relate specifically to sports. More specifically, Boston sports.
Ah, the bandwagon. The bandwagon-effect is the true core of every sports fan, just the part no one will admit to existing. Well, I am coming clean today, people. But before I do, let me step back for a second.
Like most red-blooded New Englanders, I have always stood by our beloved Boston teams over the years. For most of my life (at least until the millennium) I have had to endure many, many grueling seasons of sports watching. Losing teams. Playoff heartbreak. You name, we lived through it. Pain like 1986 when both the Red Sox and Patriots reached the pinnacle of their respective games only to let us down in the end. Truthfully, I was a better fan in those days as a child than I am today.
Here is why?
Today, winning just comes easy ‘round these parts. All four major sports teams have at least one championship under their belts over the past dozen years. It has been incredibly fun and we all loved every moment.
But, now that I (we) have been so spoiled, my loyalty and dedication has waned for our treasured hometown teams and I have to admit a dreadful fact.
My name is Frank and I am a bandwagon fan.
That stated, let me clarify what I mean. I am not jumping on OTHER cities’ teams’ bandwagons. I am not hopping on board with the LA Dodgers, Green Bay Packers or Chicago Blackhawks. Blasphemy! I am not Judas for the love of God. The figurative Boston sports cock has not crowed three times (Do you know just how difficult it is to type that last sentence without a crass, disgusting follow up? Do you?) What I mean is that due to all of the recent success our town’s teams have yielded, I just don’t care as much. Sorry, I don’t.
Here is the sticky part and when you true loyalists will be calling for my head on a platter. If any of our teams are experiencing a losing season, I do not watch ANY of the games. See ya next year suckahs! If they are having a winning season, I always jump in…but only at the last minute. I jump on that Beantown bandwagon; and I jump HARD.
Case and point, the 2012 Boston Red Sox were abysmal. Awful. One of the worst teams in quite some years. I quit on that team before Memorial Day. Now, look what a difference a year makes! The 2013 hometown 9 are about to conclude a, dare I say, historic and brilliant season walking tall in to the post-season. And guess what, until about a week ago, I did not pay a lick of attention. Nada. Be lucky if I could name 5 players, checked a box score or watched a highlight.
But now…oh baby! Look out! Do I love me some BoSox! I dusted off that unmistakable ‘B’ cap. I pulled out the vintage Sox t-shirts. I started chewing tobacco (ok, that tobacco thing is a lie)! I have morphed in to Johnny SuperSoxFan! “LET’S GO RED SOX!” {Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap!}
How annoying is that? Wait, it gets worse.
How about the Bruins? The B’s have had a string of incredible seasons. They have reached the Stanley Cup Finals twice in three years. Brought home a banner in 2011 and came so very close in 2013. What made it even more exciting was their entire journey through those playoff seasons was nothing short of epic. Truthfully, I never missed a minute of action in the postseason. Not one. Now ask me how many regular season games I caught? Yep, you guessed it. Zero. 0-82. Unless I happen to see a fight on SportsCenter, I never even glanced at what the Big Bad Bruins were doing until it actually meant something.
How bad do you want to beat me up now, hockey fans?
BUT, here is the pinnacle of my newfound bandwagon bravado; The New England Patriots.
The Pats, without question, have been the absolute epicenter and hallmark of winning in our region for more than a decade. They are the franchise that every other football town aspires to be. Three Superbowl titles along with two other Title Game appearances in eleven years. We have, in my estimation, the greatest coach-quarterback combination in the history of the game. It is nearly impossible to find a flaw in anything they do.
Nearly.
Well, here is the part where you actually walk away from your computer or iPhone, get in your car, drive to my house and punch me in the face.
The Pats, despite a number of MAJOR setbacks, are still 2-0 in these early weeks of this season. Flawless in the record column. And what am I doing?
“Ah, they stink. Catch you boys around Christmas for an update.”
What kind of a jerk fan am I? I will tell you. I am a spoiled, selfish, turncoat of a jerk. I should be beaten unconscious by a Fenway Frank. Lit on fire by a Bruins foam finger. Drawn and quartered by the Patriots cheerleaders. (I would actually pay 3 months’ salary for that last treatment, but…)
However, in my defense, the playoffs will (gulp) always be there for me to rely on! You won’t even notice me in the crowds with all of my Boston Sports Swag when those postseason days are upon us. You just won’t. Like any great traitor, I know how to fool the masses and how to blend in.
Now, please excuse me, I need to iron my Big Papi game jersey because I hear that bandwagon bell ringing.
Yours Truly,
Benedict ‘Bandwagon’ Arnold
P.S. I hate the Celtics.
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