Moms Council: Kids and Nutrition

Moms Talk is part of a North Andover Patch initiative to reach out to moms and families.

North Andover Patch invites you and your circle of friends to help build a community of support for mothers and their families right here in North Andover.

Each week in Moms Talk, our Moms Council of experts and smart moms take your questions, give advice and share solutions.

This week's question:

Nutrition -- we know it's important, but there are a lot of non-nutritious foods out there marketed to kids. How do you steer your kids away from junk food and get them to eat healthy foods? Or do you?

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Michele Gorham: At home, our food situation is incredibly healthy... aside from the fact our home is a residential bakery (hahaha). But even though our house is always full of (ahem, very yummy) confections, keeping the little fingers off them is as easy as saying my favorite word, "No." In fact, I even have the neighbors kids trained to stay away from the sweets as I only bake for orders and special occasions.

My philosophy with snacks is "if I don't buy it, they won't eat it," and I try to shop as healthy as I can. It's really gotten to the point where they don't even bother asking me to buy junk, not to say they wouldn't scarf it down in a heartbeat.

Unfortunately, I can't keep the kids at home all the time and have found that a lot.. a real lot... of families don't think the same way I do and there's not much you can do to control what they eat while they're over a friend's house or with the grand parents. This has actually been a problem with one of my little cherubs who has a wicked sweet tooth, salty tooth, anything processed/deep fried/smothered in gravy tooth.  It's hard for her to say no, and harder for her to understand eating healthy also means not eating like crap. But I also know she'll understand better as she gets older and am comfortable knowing that when my kids are with me they eat well.

I will always stress the importance of nutritious food, a healthy life style and  hope that, even with periods of mass indulgence, they both grow up to understand and appreciate healthy food.

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Wendy Bulawa Agudelo: This is a fabulous question which every mom asks herself each time she visits the grocery store, I’m sure. I know I do! Or, is this a question relating to the conflict between parental choice and politicians seeking to ban toys in McDonald’s Happy Meals?

If about the whole McDonald’s marketing issue, my opinion is that politicians should simply butt out! Corporations of many types have marketed their wares at children for decades. Big corporations aren’t stupid… at all. They know well that immature, desire-driven children will jump through amazing hoops to get something they want—be it a food item, treat, toy, magazine or electronic device.

What separates corporate marketing (i.e. deliciously-driven branding) from children is one big barrier—PARENTS! Moms and Dads alike hold the keys to their children’s future. If parents don’t care (or simply don’t have time to consult the Internet for all the details….) about processed versus unprocessed, organic versus non-organic, farm to table and the like,  they are going to provide for their families as they see fit. There’s really no wrong or right—just a ton of opinions—and everyone has one—even me!

My upbringing taught me a lot of what I don’t want to do with my kids—and that is to not avoid junk food. When my three brothers and I were growing up (on a beef ranch where we grew all our own vegetables, etc.), sweet treats and the like were kept as far out of reach as possible. Yet, when holidays came around, we became savages—ravaging Easter baskets, Christmas stockings and my grandmother’s cookie trays. Within minutes, the delicious delectables would be decimated and we’d all have amazing sugar rushes…that is, until we crashed. This became a rough road for all of us later in life—as one can imagine—so learning from those early-learned life lessons, my husband and I do not avoid junk food. Instead, we subscribe to a theory of balance. Or, in some circles, "everything in moderation."

We believe, generally, that to maintain health, a balance must be struck when it comes to food. Interestingly, our theory has been challenged as two of our three little ones are incredibly picky/finicky eaters. One, in fact, staged a feeding coup so large that she didn’t eat a solid piece of food for 10 days! Enter nutritionist #1. After three years and three nutritionists, my husband and I emerged with some simple truths: (1) Kids want control—over everything in their environment. (2) A calorie, is a calorie, is a calorie. (3) When they are truly hungry, children will eat—whatever is put in front of them.  (4) Children will make choices based upon what they are exposed to/given to eat.

We allow our kids to indulge in treats—daily, in fact. But, they are also expected to try new foods often so that their food universe expands—slowly but surely—if they want those treats. My husband and I agreed after struggling with our daughter’s finicky eating for three years that we would avoid "food fights" for both nutrition/feeding and sanity reasons. Our children are therefore given options and choices.  By allowing them to make their own choices, we avoid food fights and the children stay in control of their decisions—the root of many toddler and youth battles. So, we give our kids broad options (which turns my husband and I into short order cooks on a regular basis), of balanced/healthy meals and snacks—leaving room for treats as well.

For parents of children with special needs (which I am one), eating/feeding can become an insurmountable obstacle. Thanks to unexpected sensory issues surrounding food  (colors, textures, smells, tastes—thank you 5 senses), many children cannot manage eating like typical kids, therefore just getting something (ANYTHING) into them can become a major effort. Advice from my brother (the doctor) was, “ Kids won’t knowingly starve themselves, but they will pitch a huge fit if they don’t get what they want. Sometimes, it’s not worth the battle.”  In light of this, we do what we can—even going so far as to make food ‘interesting,’ such as ‘Spider Eggs’ (copied from fabulous California-based nutritionist Toni Bloom and her company, www.funfoodle.com), or finding alternate food options for allergy concerns. (One of our twins has a dairy allergy—and we therefore introduced ice cream to all of them at the same time—using Tofutti, the dairy-free alternative—which is quite delicious!).

So far, we’ve found that we don’t have to endure tantrums at the grocery store. We hope this means our kids are developing a healthy relationship with food. They enjoy visiting the fruit/veggie aisle at the store, and don’t get fussy when rolling through the candy or cookie laden aisles (although homemade cookies from Cookie Central may create an issue since they look so yummy!) J When the kids see sweet treats they enjoy, we remind them we have those options at home and that if they want a treat later, they can have it. (important to note that we have MINIATURE sizes of favorites—chocolate, Swedish fish, lollipops, etc.)

Finally, I should note that my children are 5 years and 3 years, so we may not have yet hit the ‘wall’ where junk food issue become a major concern as we still maintain a watchful eye over what they eat daily. If this road bump remains in our future, I’ll enjoy reading the other Mom’s Council members responses for advice on what to do going forward!

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OUR MOMS COUNCIL

Wendy Bulawa Agudelo -- Wendy is the mother to three young children (5 and under) — including a set of twin boys. In her spare time, she is an avid features writer covering a broad array of parenting topics from special needs to travel with infants. During the day, she earns her stripes as an entrepreneur, operating both a public relations consultancy as well as a targeted theme gift basket business, Period Packs, which celebrates a young girl's foray into womanhood.

Michele Gorham -- Michele is the wife of a Methuen firefighter and mother of two little girls. As the owner of Cookie Central, she is an avid supporter of Share Our Strength and a community leader for MerchantCircle. 

Darcy Rubino -- Darcy is a mom to three kids, ages 5, 7 and 15. She has lived in North Andover for 10 years with her husband, Mike. She is an active volunteer in the community and is co-chair of North Andover Parents Advisory Council for Children with Special Needs (NAPAC).

Diane Kiladis -- Diane is a local mom of two kids and runs the newspaper at Franklin Elementary School, the Franklin Flyer.