The ACLU are bullies. They go after schools and districts with their lawsuits and know that the districts do not have the funds to fight the lawsuit so they have no choice but to submit. I do not understand the mentality that all must suffer because of one. Doesn't this child have an uncle or grandfather or an adult male in her life that could have taken her to the dance? How sad that apparently she does not and her mother has done nothing to improve that part of this little girl's life. This is just a by-product of the feminist mantra that men are not important in the lives of children. This was a teachable moment for this mother and she reneged. How will her daughter have the coping skills needed to accept the challenges that life throws on a daily basis. By running to the aclu? Not realistic. Personally, I feel that such dances should be held in private settings anyway. I just think this was handled badly, and unfairly for the hundreds of girls who look forward to the event.

That all must suffer because of one is one question, why any would have to is another. If given the choice between letting the single mom attend, or losing the dance entirely it seems absurd that the group choice was to ban the dance entirely. That the school lacks funds for defense does not mean their position is a moral position. I don't know that one could expect the ACLU to ignore its charter in such cases any more than it would when facing an opponent with much deeper pockets than they have. Which happens. Often.

This is where we are today: government that just can't seem to wait before jumping in to ruin almost anything that looks "normal."

I was once told that there are no more dangerous critters to encounter than the employee that is incompetent and knows it, but doesn't want anybody else to know it, and organizations that were once large and powerful but have lost their cause. The ACLU is now part of the latter: if the only tool you've ever known is a hammer, then everything starts to look like a nail.

Great comments! I don't think the school district should be faulted. Perhaps the school should have just let that mom attend the dance, but seriously- how sad and juvenile is it that the mother would rather make a big stink and cast a pall over a happy, father-daughter bonding experience for an entire school?

Geez! Lack of dads' involvement in their kids' lives is a contributing factor to single motherhood. I'm sick and tired of adults stamping their feet and having "It's not faaaaiiiirrrr!" moments. This woman clearly has struggles, but does she have to be so myopic as to think she's the only one or hers are the most important? It's not as if going to the dang dance would have changed her other sorry circumstances. I wonder how the other single mothers weighed in on this one.

As single mother myself, I think it is sad that this mother would rather have the event cancelled and ruin the experience for everyone else, rather than use it as a teachable moment for her own child. Our children need to learn that indeed, life isn't fair, and the world isn't going to change or bend to make you happy. Everyone does NOT always deserve a trophy!

I myself have attended 3 father/daughter dances with my daughter, and it was not an issue. She wanted to attend with her friends, and although she does have many male family members and friends who would have attended with her, she wanted me there, because I am both mom and "dad" to her. We had a great time at all three dances, without any issues.

I was that girl that walked into a father daughter dance with my mother many years ago. I burst into tears and ran out. It stays with me even today.
I would NEVER try to stop others from enjoying what should be a beautiful time. My loss was just that, my loss.

Re naem oisins comment above, I take issue that this is some part of a feminist agenda. As a feminist from a long line of feminists, the mantra isn't that men aren't important, but that women are just as important. a feminist wouldn't have tried to stop the dance, But would have taught her daughter to hold her head high and move forward. Other than that comment, we're in agreement.

The blame goes to the Cranston RI school administration, for not allowing the child to attend the dance. How silly is this! How silly where they. Much ado...
(sorry, Amy, that you had that loss)

These dances should definitely be banned. It just makes good sense, right? We should always punish other people when one person doesn't get their way. Who cares about the needs of many when we can satisfy the "one," especially if that "one" is me.

Private schools don't have these types of problems.

Sometime after we decided that everyone is entitled to a free education, we also decided that the government needs to run one size fits all schools.

Wow! Father Daughter dances should not be banned. They should allow any "father-figure" to attend.

Sometimes I forget how deeply ingrained gender roles are in our society. How sad that is for everyone because of the stress it puts on people. This string of comments brought that back to light for me. Some commenters I agree with, others I don't. However, this mother did not set out to stop all Father-Daughter dances, and it's not about the ACLU's practices. It was the school department who cancelled the dances rather than comply with federal law. What is the harm in allowing the mother attend the dance with her daughter? What some have suggested is the child bring any "man" to the dance rather than her primary caregiver. Does that make any sense? To deny entry to a person based on their physiological sexual organs?

Getting back to the private school vs government school point.

Private schools need to please their "customers". If you don't like some aspect of the school, you talk to the principal or the guidance counselor or whoever. If you're still not satisfied, you're take your business elsewhere. Just like restaurant customers - you are free to return or not depending on how the restaurant serves your particular needs.

In the government schools, you aren't always the customer - sometimes your a prisoner. You have no choices. You are not free to choose.

I'm remember the two people in Andover who ate every dinner at Friendly's and bemoaned its closing - an unlikely choice in my view but they obviously loved going there. Imagine if the government decided to give everyone free meals and then decided to run restaurants (i.e. just like it does with education). We'd have one size fits all restaurants (let's call them public cafeterias). If you didn't like the public cafeterias, you could go to a more expensive private restaurant or live with the cafeteria food. (I can imagine someone suing the public cafeteria for the lack of healthy dessert options or for serving meat on Friday in Lent). I think most of us would be worse off in such a situation including those that like the downtown Andover Friendly's.

On the bright side, it saves the daughters all the embarrassment of seeing their fathers dance in public.

And how many girls are on the Cranston High School varsity football squad? Have any ever tried out for the team? Does the school have a varsity football program for girls?

Mike - I agree that Jefferson was more interested in public schools for education of the citizenry vs public schools for sports/social events.

Melissa- Point taken on the sorry circumstance piece. I get where you are coming from better now, but I guess to me, its pretty obvious what the circumstances are. She feels discriminated against based on gender. I am not sure anyone would feel differently in the abstract even if they cannot identify with the particular circumstances in this instance.

The parents without daughters could complain, but I am not sure it would be much of a case. To what end?

You could try the high energy low output strategy of designing different dances that segregate along family circumstances and gender, or you could try the much more low energy high output solution of letting this woman come to the dance with her daughter!

I don't see much of a slippery slope argument here.

John Devlin - Was just told anecdotally that the board blew their lawsuit budget losing a fight to keep a christian banner up in the school and had nothing left for this one. Interesting if true.

Well, Wyatt, I did say and do agree that they should have just let her go- but that still doesn't entitle her to bellyache about it. I'd agree more with the discrimination argument if this were 20 or even 10 years ago, but single parents are hardly a rare species these days. The article didn't say that a disenfranchised _group_ of single mothers protested and were brushed off. We're talking about one mom who felt left out.

As for the "Christian banner," I, too, would like to know the circumstances, but I'll wager that it was a case of another individual who set out to change circumstances to his/her liking. Maybe the banner was something Christmasy that dared allude to Jesus rather than Santa or presents or snowmen. Quelle horreur!

Okay, I was wrong about the banner topic. Here's a link: http://www.theblaze.com/stories/fed-judge-sides-with-teen-atheist-orders-public-school-to-remove-prayer-mural/

Still, looks like one fervent atheist just couldn't bear the existence of that prayer in her school. Again, I feel like saying the school should have known better, but...

I would like to see an effort to stop kids from walking around school with their butts hanging out. Banning a father daughter dance is ridiculous.

I agree that the rejection from the dance does not entitle her to speech. We are however, all entitled to bellyache by the constitution. One does not need to be a member of a collective to be discriminated against anymore than one needs to be a member of a collective to reject discrimination.

One of my most cherished memories were the annual father-daughter dinners I attended with my dad. It was "our" time together with no else in the family, and being with the other dads and girls was great. It is one of the things I reflect on when I remember him in life. I am saddened that we have come to the point at which such events have become so legally dissected that they are eliminated out of fear of stepping on someone's toes, even if it's one person - or even a hypothetical person - who can't bear the possibility of personal disappointment. I am sad for daughters who will never have some of the positive experiences I had because we must avoid any missteps that will cause someone's feelings to be hurt. My guess is that mother is completely unaware and apparently uncaring of what she has extinguished for others. Having had my 3 years of law school, I know the legal reasoning behind the ruling; the logic is not lost on me. I know that a civilization cannot exist without laws; but it also cannot exist for long without grace, true compassion for one another, and plain common sense. It will literally rule itself out of existence. Stories like this make me sad for other traditions that will go by the wayside next.

maybe we should ban teachers from using red ink when correcting papers so that nobody knows that our child got something wrong and that our child's self esteem is still intact.

I find it sad that this mom couldn't think of one male role model in her daughter's life who could accompany her. What a great opportunity to teach about "the family we choose"...but then again, people like this mom just don't get the big picture.

Society is sick.

wwow what a sick society we live in . This woman as well as the state is brain dead. What the hell are we becoming.